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I'll blog just about anything, so sit back and have a good laugh.

liberalsarecool:

Conservatism as policy is a failure. #abstinence

liberalsarecool:

Conservatism as policy is a failure. #abstinence

Britain: Excuse Me
Netherlands: Excuseer me
Mexico: Perdon
Italy: Permesso
France: Pardon
Canada: Sorry
America: Get the fuck out of my way douchedick
Australia: Move cunt or I'll run you down with my kangaroo

levithedisneyprincess:

maybeiwantthetrouble:

boazpriestly:

xdw94xd:

This is apparently coming out in 3 days.

In 3 days, I’m going to start to be a total jogging addict, I think

I’ve been beta testing it and I can confirm it’s actually the greatest app ever. Full iOS release date is as specified, Android release this Spring.

It’s so intense, at one point during the first mission when radio contact was lost, I could hear them trying to contact me “Can you hear us?!” and I literally grabbed the mic and shouted, “I CAN HEAR YOU WHAT DO I DO?” even though that’s not how it works.

I’m just glad nobody was near me.

Only reason I want an Android phone, tbqh.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

Alright yall sit your asses down I’m telling you a story

I have this app and it is one of my best purchases I’ve ever had. It endorses your running and makes you work.

The only downside is that it is fucking terrifying. One time, I was running, and got surrounded by zombies. Groaning and shuffling from all angles. And I have never ran that fast in my entire life. I completed my course(which usually takes 15 mins) in 5. I was also screaming a bit. I got some really weird looks, too.

So, morale of the story: This is a fucking scary app and I recommend it 100%.

russianvixen:

faultyschematic:

xylodemon:

aceofheartsu:

I CANT BREATHE

if i ever stop reblogging this, just assume I’ve died

straight talk is my new euphemism for solid dick

;)

russianvixen:

faultyschematic:

xylodemon:

aceofheartsu:

I CANT BREATHE

if i ever stop reblogging this, just assume I’ve died

straight talk is my new euphemism for solid dick

;)

rosaparking:

chrispymoir:

rosaparking:

BALLS R THE FUNNIEST PART OF A DUDES BODY THEYRE LIKE DICK BOOBS WITH NO NIPPLE

You’ve never seen balls, have you?

I HAD MY BFS BALLS IN MY MOUTH 5 HRS AGO